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About
Domestic Adoption
Why do people choose adoption?
How will I know if adoption is the
right decision for my child?
If I am only 17 can I make an adoption
plan on my own?
How much can I be involved with choosing
a family for my child?
How much contact can I have with
the family after the birth?
How will I be sure that the adoptive
families will keep their commitment for whatever
contact we agree upon?
How are the families selected to
be adoptive parents?
How does this process involve the
father of my baby?
Will I be able to get any financial
help during my pregnancy?
What if I change my mind about adoption?
What happens if I feel that I need
counseling after making an adoption placement?
How will my child feel about me
because I chose to make an adoption plan?
Why
do people choose adoption?
There are a number of reasons why Birth Parents
choose adoption. These may include: a single mother
who wants her child raised in a two parent home,
a married or dating couple who may feel too young
to be parenting or who may not have the financial
resources to raise a child at this time. Many
are already parenting other children and feel
that they do not have the emotional, psychological
or financial resources to parent another child.
Some Birth Parents may want to complete their
education or are having employment difficulties
at the time of the pregnancy. Every Birth Parent
has individual circumstances that bring them to
consider making an adoption plan. Only you can
make the decision that is best for your child,
your family and yourself.
How will I know if adoption is the right
decision for my child?
Adoption Counseling will provide you with guidance
on how to evaluate all your options. You may need
to make a list of the pros and cons of parenting
or not parenting and what resources are available
to you in either circumstance. Only you can make
the choice and the counselors at Alliance are
committed to assisting you with that process free
from any judgements or coercion.
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If I am only 17 can I make an adoption
plan on my own?
You can make an adoption plan legally without
parental involvement. The agency will hire an
attorney on your behalf to make sure your rights
are protected and understood. However, we know
from experience that birth parents need all the
support that's available to them. Sometimes birth
parents fear their parent’s reactions and
do not want to tell them about their pregnancy
and/or adoption plans. Your counselor will assist
you with telling your parents if you want them
to. But it is your choice alone whom to include
in your plans.
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How much can
I be involved with choosing a family for my child?
You will make the choice about how much or how
little involvement you want in that process. If
you want to select the family, you will be asked
to think about what kind of family you prefer.
You can choose whether the family has other children
or are childless; you can make a request about
the religion or race of the adoptive family. You
can choose from single or two parent families.
You will make the choice whether to meet or not
meet the adoptive family that you have selected.
If you do not feel comfortable with making these
choices, the agency can choose the family for
you.
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How much contact
can I have with the family after the birth?
You and the adoptive family develop a plan that
works best for your situation. You may choose
not to have contact. You may want letters and
pictures sent through the agency till your child
turns 18. You and the adoptive parents may want
to have continued personal contact on a regular
or informal basis.
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How will I
be sure that the adoptive families will keep their
commitment for whatever contact we agree upon?
Some states have post adoption contact agreements
that can be legally enforced. This means that
if the family discontinues the agreed upon contact,
you can go to court to have the agreement enforced.
This contract will not allow you to end the adoption,
simply to guarantee that the contact continues
per the agreement. Our counselors can advise you
on making such an agreement.
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How are the
families selected to be adoptive parents?
Pre-adoptive families are carefully prepared for
raising an adopted child and thoroughly screened
by a review process that includes:
- Clearance from State Child Abuse Registry and
Criminal History
- Complete Medical Histories
- Financial Disclosures
- Personal References
- Assessment and Approval by a Licensed Social
Worker
- Mandatory Adoption Education classes
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How does this
process involve the father of my baby?
We encourage the participation of birth fathers
in the decision process. The birth father has
a legal, moral and ethical right to be included
in the adoption process. Sometimes, birth fathers
do not want to be involved in the process. In
that case, there is a legal process that involves
notification which may be in person or by a legal
notice in the newspaper. If the birth father does
not respond to the notification, there is a court
process to allow the adoption to proceed. If you
have an adversarial relationship with the birth
father the agency will handle any contact with
him for you.
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Will I be able to get any financial help
during my pregnancy?
You may be eligible for financial assistance.
You will be asked to complete a financial worksheet
to determine how much assistance you can expect.
The amounts are determined by your demonstrated
need and by the legal limits of the laws governing
adoption. Allowable expenses include; rent, food,
medical expenses, transportation expenses to work
or for medical care, clothing and some educational
expenses.
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What if I change
my mind about adoption?
You are free to make your own choices and Alliance
for Children and your counselor will support your
decision regardless if it is to parent or to make
an adoption plan. Once you sign your consent for
adoption, the decision is final so your counselor
will not permit you to sign until you are ready
for the commitment. If you need more time to think
through your decision, the agency can provide
transitional care for your baby to give you more
time to be certain about your choice.
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What happens if I feel that I need counseling
after making an adoption placement?
The agency will provide continued counseling either
through the agency or will provide funding for
counseling outside the agency. The agency counselors
will remain available to Birth Parents for as
long as they need support.
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How will my child feel about me because
I chose to make an adoption plan?
There is no way to know exactly how your child
will feel. However, meeting with the adoptive
family, spending time with your child at the hospital,
and maintaining contact with the adoptive family
will demonstrate to your child that you made a
thoughtful conscientious plan. The adoptive family
is important to how your child will view your
decision. The family is an eye witness to how
much you loved this child and how hard this decision
was for you. You did not abandon your child; you
participated in a very difficult process to ensure
that your child had the best opportunities for
a stable life. Someone once said "What do
truly good parents do for their children?"
The response was that good parents make difficult
choices in the best interests of their children
regardless of the pain or judgement they may endure
in those decisions. Adoption is not a selfish
decision by Birth parents...it is a selfless one.
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Alliance for Children is a non-profit
adoption agency where you can choose your baby's
future:
* Free, caring, safe, confidential counseling
* On-going support before and after placement
* Choose and meet adoptive parents
* Make a plan that works for you and your child
* Select from approved, loving families
* Medical, legal and financial assistance |
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